Country songs fall all over the quality spectrum, but only a chosen few can earn the dubious distinction of sitting at the bottom of the barrel. Through a special combination of poor production, subpar songwriting, and vacuous vocals, the songs presented below are the sorts of headache-inducing tracks that move listeners to plug their ears, turn their dials, or just run screaming from the room.
Just as with my mid-year list, these songs will be presented without comment because a) I’m lazy (so much so that I copy-pasted all this opening text from last year), and b) I’ve wasted enough words on this junk already in my prior reviews. Let’s get this over with quickly, shall we?
Last Year’s “Winner”: Jordan Davis, “Singles You Up” (2/10)
|Artist, Song||Final Rating|
|#15||Morgan Evans, “Day Drunk”||4/10|
|#14||Maren Morris, “Rich”||4/10|
|#13||Morgan Evans, “Kiss Somebody”||4/10|
|#12||Florida Georgia Line, “Talk You Out Of It”||4/10|
|#11||Billy Currington, “Bring It On Over”||4/10|
#10: Craig Campbell, “See You Try” (final rating: 4/10)
#9: LoCash, “Don’t Get Better Than That” (3/10)
#8: Walker Hayes, “90s Country” (3/10)
#7: Carlton Anderson, “Drop Everything” (3/10)
#6: Keith Urban, “Never Comin’ Down” (3/10)
#5: LoCash, “Feels Like A Party” (3/10)
Congrats LoCash, you’re this year’s winner of the Dustin Lynch Memorial Anti-Excellence Award for putting two songs in the bottom ten. (Morgan Evans also deserves some public shaming here for those two dishonorable mentions.)
#4: Jordan Davis, “Take It From Me” (3/10)
Oh wow, Davis improved a whole three spots from last year. Great job. 😐
#3: Jake Owen, “I Was Jack (You Were Diane)” (3/10)
#2: Rodney Atkins ft. The Fisk Jubilee Singers, “Caught Up In The Country” (2/10)
#1: Michael Ray, “One That Got Away” (1/10)
It took an all-time low score to take this year’s title from Rodney Atkins, but if Michael Ray has proved anything, it’s that there’s no low he won’t stoop to, and he walks away with my “worst song of the year” award. On behalf of country listeners around the globe, I humbly ask Mr. Ray, and everyone else on this list, to make better single choices in the future.
I’d like to say “I don’t want to see any of you people on this list again next year,” but we had three repeat offenders from last year (and two more that didn’t miss the cut by much), so…yeah. The only way some of these people miss it is if I get too busy to make it at all.
2 thoughts on “Kyle’s Top 10 WORST Country Singles of 2018”
Since we are on the topic of bad songs, I would like you to listen to Justin Moore’s “I’d Want It To Be Yours” from the Off The Beaten Path album (if you haven’t already) and tell me what you think about it. Personally, I think it is one of the most disgusting country songs to ever exist.
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So I dug up the song on YouTube, and…wow, that might be the worst-written song I’ve *ever* heard. In what universe is referring to someone’s butt as “two cute little pigs in a toe sack” sexy? This goes beyond objectification to being flat-out demeaning, and I never want to hear Moore try to rap again.
I’ve never given out a 0/10 on this blog, but that song…yeah, I think that song would get one. (Michael Ray’s “Think A Little Less” would have also drawn a 0, had I started the blog in time to review it.)
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