Dr. Kyle “Green” Akers was born in Inkopolis sometime in the mid-90s. He spent his childhood playing video games and…well, not much else. He dreamed of becoming an Ink Battle Champion, but ended up earning a reputation as a lazy, sprinkler-happy scrub who couldn’t shoot the broad side of a barn.
With his Ink Battle dreams dashed, Kyle moved to the U.S. to continue his quest for fortune and glory. He earned his bachelor’s degree at Dartmouth College, where he spent his free time drinking, playing even more video games, and railing against the George W. Bush administration while blogging under the name “The New England Patriot.” (Most of his drivel has since been expunged from the Internet, although rumor has it that a backup of the blog still lives on an external hard drive buried somewhere near Sudikoff Lab.) He later did his grad work at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, earning a doctorate in political science for his comprehensive analysis of the relationship between Equestria and Outworld.
Currently, Dr. Akers lives in a culvert somewhere in Vermont, mooching power and Internet for his Switch from nearby homes while dodging U.S. border agents that want to deport him back to Inkopolis.
(PLEASE NOTE: The views expressed on this blog are Kyle’s and Kyle’s alone, and do not reflect the views of his employers, friends, family, or anyone else.)